Secret Smile :: April

Dogs?

April 30, 2005

i can’t remember if it was the simpson who showed this episode of dolphins acting all cute but really they where planning to take over the world. you just never know what they are thinking.

Dogs however i fear to a certain standard. i feel if i had a puppy of my own it would grow to trust me and be no harm to me. if however i see someone elses dog i am terrified of it as i automatically think what as it’s owner taught it. a kiss could mean kill then again i may just be paranoid and my imagination getting the better of me.

See more progress on: stop being afraid of living things

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why am i scared of humans you ask?

i am terrified of people but once i get to know someone i am not so afraid and you begin to notice i relax more. this is one reason why i lack in friends i never make the ultimate first move. if i am around a group of friends and somebody new comes i am more quiet but try to get to know that person. i get all tense like the person is watching my every move their eyes branding me, judging me. i sort of close up. but once a person as been around me for a while like say more than 5 days i start to get used to that person and soon they get to know me. the ones that last that long are very few. the others just think me shy and write me off. if you were in my group of friends you will find that i am always the loudest, the first to start a conversation and that i am friendly. so i am not really shy. i have been that way all my life i used to think i was shy but i know better.

people can tell you they love you but really mean they hate you.
they can tell you you look nice but really they think you are ugly.
they can tell you thanks but really the mean thanks for nothing you useless prick.
you just never know whats going on in their minds.

See more progress on: stop being afraid of living things

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yes it is true i am afraid of anything that breathes even humans.

i used to think it was just animals and that i truly loved plants. i used to even think it wrong eating leafy stuff like salad anything vegetable basically. as they where innocent living things that couldn’t fight back.this is until i started growing plants in my house i noticed how they grew and react and i started to get scared i think allsorts in my head lets just say i have a very big imagination.

but thats not why i am afraid of living things. i guess am afraid because i don’t know what they are thinking. plants, animals from spiders to dog even ants.

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

April 29, 2005

a clip Clementine and Joel on ice
I watched Eternal Sunshine at my friends house yesterday its about:

“A couple (Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet) undergo a procedure to erase each other from their memories when their relationship turns sour, but it is only through the process of loss that they discover what they had to begin with.” _imdb

it was great not confusing like everyone said it would be. I liked the point they where trying to make that when a relationship end you want to forget that person you want to get over the pain. but forgetting is not the solution in getting over a relationship. the bad bits of the relationship may hurt but we need to remember them inorder to learn from our mistakes. we also want to remember the good times thats what Joel (Jim Carey) was trying to save when his memories was being erased of her(clementine- Kate Winslet).

this film was funny as expected of any Jim Carey movie. Kate dyes her hair many times and all looked terrible except the red. Other characters include kirsten Dunst and Elijah Wood. I will definately be watching this again.

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definately worth doing

flickr is simply the best for sharing my photos i can post picture i upload to my blogs note thats more than one blog. it used to be 10mb upload limit every month now its 20mb upload limit for free account i cant actually wait to go for the pro account. having that limit encourages me to go out and take pictures and upload something every month. if i haven’t finish my limit i simply go out again and take more. its really encouraging also to have people comment on your pics.

See more progress on: Set up a Flickr account

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not prepared

April 28, 2005

i guess am not prepared to talk about this yet. probably the last goal i will reach. i find am not that depressed during this week cause i have been blogging alot and i have being building my website basically keeping myself occupied so my train of thought does not go that far. i know the depresssion will hit again. i told my mum i was depressed like two weeks ago she asked what it was i was depressed about i told her i didn’t know. i knew exactly what it was i just wasnt prepared to talk about it. this is one of the reason i dont smile often. seeing my friends help me make light of the situation. they make me laugh they bring joy to my life. i dont think i have enough friends though i dont go out so the only friends i have ever made are from church, school now uni and thats it. i don’t even go church anymore so there will be no increase in friends anytime soon.

See more progress on: Stop being depressed

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luck

April 26, 2005

before i started uni i had wanted to get a laptop. i looked in magazines pc world even dell as a last result. uni started so quickly i was not prepared and i had not bought a laptop yet. while i was at uni far from home did not no where the shops where i kept calling home and asking family members to help me find a good laptop. i did not suggest they buy it i merely asked for help in finding the right one. i came across the ferrari 3400 in FHM magazine(yes i know its meant for males but that a whole other story) i was just mentioning how cool it was to my brother not suggesting anything though, the taught did cross my mind. when i went home for christmas guess what was waiting for me yes a ferrari 3400 laptop which at the time cost £1400. how lucky am i?

See more progress on: get a laptop

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The plan

the plan is to stay away from hair relaxer and keep my hair the way it was meant to be. every 2 months i have a hair treatment i then do afro twist to my hair to still get that natural look but still being able to tame and control my hair. i think we afro women think that the only solution to our strong hair is relaxing. i have spent so many times before trying to tame it and conform to how everyone else look straight long silky hair but for me it doesnt take long before my hair start to fall out. Through this i have grown to be positive about my hair and look at its benefits i dont need a mousse or gel to hold my hair up its already there. this are one of many things i can do to it. we can fight it or we can embrace it i have chosen to embrace mine.

See more progress on: keep my hair natural

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smile

smiling is infectious; you catch it like the flu, when someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too. I passsed around the corner and someone saw my grin when he smiled i realized I’d passed it on to him. i thought about that smile then i realized its worth, a single smile, just like mine could travel round the earth. so if you feel a smile begin, dont’t leave it undetected lets start an epidemic quick and get the world infected!

i don’t actually know who started this little poem but i loved it from when i first read it in a book called social ntelligence. I went out smiling but soon it went away from memory. thats why i ‘ll keep this near so i can go out smiling again.

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shoes

April 25, 2005

shoes

Originally uploaded by afrosmile.

new shoes allstars converse. testing if i like that sort of trainers looking for comfortable shoes, already found comfortable trousers jeans is all i wear

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